"Coming Out": Western vs. Eastern

In listening to the episode that launched this week with Acey Desi, one thought I had was how “coming out” in the Western sense is a bit more complicated in Eastern cultures. In the media, we often see the “coming out” process depicted in dramatic film and television, where it adds to the story. I recall the scene from the film Love, Simon, where the character asks what it would be like if you had to come out as “straight”. While presented comically, this illustrates the complex nature of the “coming out” process and how it is tied to identity and our need for privacy.

“Coming out” is essentially the sharing of one's private details to their friends, family and community. In Western representations, it is seen as the journey toward realizing and living one’s LGBTQIA+ identity. However, it is seemingly part of an all or nothing journey - if you haven’t come out, then you have not fully realized your identity as part of the queer community. This is a lot of pressure. In Eastern culture, where there is tremendous pressure from your family and community to adhere to the rules of society. Coming out is not easy and sometimes not possible.

I wish we could respect the balance between respecting our identity and the need for privacy a little more in this process. Just because you are exercising your identity in a private way, it doesn’t mean that you are not truly embracing and living it. We should not confuse the sharing of identity with society with truly accepting our identity. The first is a choice that one makes. The second is the journey that one goes through.

by Kartik Ramkumar