Imposter Syndrome

Am I Indian enough? Am I American enough? These are questions that constantly run through my mind. It’s not just me - this feeling of never being “enough” of something runs through every aspect of my life. Am I good enough at my job? Am I a good enough friend? These questions became a cycle I could not escape. These questions just swirled around in my head and as soon as I answered one question, the next one would appear and stress me out. These questions constantly make me feel inadequate and that any praise or achievement I receive is not earned.

I realized I needed to exit this imposter syndrome cycle that made me feel miserable. But, this was a difficult process. Imposter syndrome isolated me from everyone else and made me think everybody else either doesn’t experience this or not to the same degree. It took several conversations with friends and family to realize that the majority of people experience this. They are also asking the same internal questions about if they are good enough. This revelation made me feel normal and allowed me to start to find ways to fight imposter syndrome by normalizing its occurrence.

My next step is to deconstruct the questions that imposter syndrome poses. What does “good enough” mean? Who defines “enough”? What happens when it is “enough”? This process made me realize that imposter syndrome is manifesting the community and social pressures that I face in the various aspects of my life. To remove these pressures, I have to make myself believe that what I am doing is enough. This takes time, patience, practice and effort. And sometimes imposter syndrome wins. But it has become part of my self-care to take this on and combat imposter syndrome so I can feel like I am enough.

by Kartik Ramkumar