Shaped by Shaadi

Shaadi, referring to a South Asian wedding, is derived from the word shaad, which means happiness in Persian. While weddings are happy events, the path to shaadi is shaped by many trials and tribulations. From the struggles of using dating apps to defining a path to marriage, the journey can be hard, long and tough. This was explored on the podcast episode launched this week: Shapes of Shaadi with Radha Patel. What struck me about the conversation was the discussion on the journey towards marriage and the importance of the family in the process. Dating and marriage are especially tied to the influence of our families and communities, our norms and values. There is no rule book on how to navigate the situation where two sets of norms and values converge, or if you adjust your rule book throughout your dating life. Instead, there is a constant set of negotiations between the two cultural forces, trying to map out how your families and cultures fit together. You also need to navigate how this affects your readiness to join a new family and embrace a new culture.

Seeing this as a journey with a happy ending is important. I think there is so much pressure in shaping the perfect celebration of happiness that we don’t contemplate the journey of ups and downs that get us there. This Valentine’s Day, let’s spend time thinking about all the different types of journeys we experience in our romantic relationships and lives. This introspection is important in my journey to be more present and mindful about the status and journey of all relationships in my life.

by Kartik Ramkumar