Episode 3.04: Toxic Conditioning, with Smita Chand

In this episode, Smita and I discuss the influences of toxic conditioning in South Asian culture and its effects on our self-image, personal values and cultural expectations around career choices, relationships and parenting. Smita discusses her past experiences with domestic violence and abusive relationships with vulnerability and how her life ultimately came together after confronting and processing her trauma and truly showing up for herself. We discuss the ways in which unhealthy relationships manifest from comparison culture and the importance of deprogramming ourselves from toxic masculinity and patriarchy to realize our authentic personal values non-contingent upon "what others may think." Her story is one characterized by deep introspection and self awareness used as tools to acknowledge, dismantle and disown trauma bonding behaviors. We dive deep into topics such as learning how to practice vulnerability in relationships with ourselves and others and understanding the need for validation being rooted within South Asian culture. Our conversation sheds light on the effects of toxic conditioning and how to recognize and divorce ourselves from beliefs that do not serve who we truly are. This is an episode that so many of us can relate to, as it addresses multiple stages of our lives and belief systems ingrained within us and passed down from those before us.

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See our related blog post on this topic, “Navigating Relationships.”